“For better or for worse. For richer or poorer; in sickness and in health.”
Webster defines “commitment”, well, I don’t like Webster’s definition, but when I saw the synonyms, I saw “faithfulness” and here is what Webster says there: full of FAITH or steadfast in affection or allegiance : LOYAL. And these words describe two of my favorite people, who today, April 15, are celebrating their 64th wedding anniversary.
Obviously I wasn’t there in 1947 when Martin and Margaret said their wedding vows in a humble ceremony. But one thing is definite—they are the epitome of faithfulness as they have been there for one another through sickness and health; for better and for worse, and today, April 15 they are still there for each other as they celebrate their wedding anniversary.
I love to hear my grandparents, Martin and Margaret Raymer talk about their courtship and the early days of their relationship. When they could go to “the show” for a nickel or a dime and when they would go to dances on Saturday nights. Grandpa worked for area farmers, and he worked hard until he could make it on his own. And when he and Grandma were first married they took a road trip to the West Coast in his Studebaker, which was one of the first of its kind in the county. Grandma, being the record keeper in the family, kept track of their expenses in a notebook, just like she keeps track of family Rummy scores today.
I can just envision these two love birds driving from the Nebraska Panhandle to the Washington Coast, holding hands , sharing a soda and telling stories. See, when I visit then about twice a year, they still occasionally squeeze each other’s hands and they still like to tell stories. “Remember when….” And another tale of days gone by begins.
But their journey hasn’t always been filled with joy and laughter…it has had its share of hardships that has made them stronger, and I’m sure there are some I will never know about. But sickness, that is one I do know about, because as a very early grade schooler, I remember going to Denver, when Grandma was in the hospital with a brain tumor, and cancer wasn’t very well understood back in the early 80s. But, Grandma, she’s a strong one, and she survived! And she survived multiple tumors and multiple surgeries with Grandpa and the rest of her family by her side. And she hasn’t slowed down since. She’s got a better social life than I ever will, and has always given back to her community, whether it’s serving lunches for funerals or organizing and managing the month long Church rummage sale. And later, that nasty cancer got to Grandpa – I guess years of farming and sun exposure got the better of him. And now, Grandma is right by his side, taking care of him.
And they worked together. As a child I loved going to my grandparents in the summer. Some of my favorite meals were served on the tailgate of a pickup when we would take dinner or supper to the guys in the field—and Grandma didn’t just through together a sandwich every time. Often, we would have fried chicken and lots of it! Portion control is not in Grandma’s vocabulary! And at calving time, if there was a cow that wouldn’t take her calf, Grandma would take care of the bottle calf or calves.
But now they are older, and they don’t “go” like they used to. But they still have each other, and they still are a shining example for their family. A few years ago, Grandpa jokingly said, “I was thinking about leaving, but there isn’t anyone in the neighborhood that cooks as good as Grandma.” And you know what, he’s right! And there’s no one in the neighborhood that can set an example of what true love is like the two of them!
Tonight, I called them to wish them a happy anniversary. Grandma said they “were celebrating.” They were going to have leftover meatloaf and my aunt and uncle were coming down to look at some old slides…a walk down memory lane. And Grandma had bought some cream puffs for desert. I assured her I had the same cream puffs in my freezer (because they are soooo good and NOT fat free!) and I would have some tonight too!
So, here’s to true love, commitment that lasts a lifetime, and to better and worse and sickness and health! Here’s to my Grandpa & Grandma! Thank you for showing your kids, 6 grandkids and even the next generation what true love really is. Thanks for being great farmers and cooks and family. And thanks for showing us what love really is.
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