The Season that Wasn't

Happy first day of Autumn!

Fall has been and probably always will be my favorite season. I love the warm colors of the oranges, reds and browns as the leaves turn. I love the chill in the air and the Saturday "Big Red" Nebraska Football games. And I love what fall represents--harvest--a time to reap a year's worth of planting and then praying that Mother Nature does the right thing to produce a bountiful harvest. And this year I especially like that fall means that Summer 2011 is in the books and I'll NEVER have to relive it again.

Oh, my summer definitely had it's high points. If I was reporting back to the first day of school, I could probably find three highlights.

1. My dad was honored with the Distinguised Service Award from the National Association of County Agricultural Agents at its annual meeting in Kansas City--a very proud moment for all of us.
   

2. Aunt Barb spent nearly a week with me (see #1 above) and we ate out, relaxed, shopped and became regulars at Starbucks. We also cheered on Dad as he received his DSA.

3. My travels took me to numerous states that allowed me to see many friends and make some new ones. Trips included a drive to Harrisburg, PA for NJAS; and flights all over the place.

But, after that top three, the last three months have been blah. I mean I didn't take a vacation. I didn't even get an entire book read. The flowers I planted in spring dehydrated. And I didn't have time to blog.

My summer didn't start too great, but I don't really want to talk about the first day of summer. I'm just glad fall is here. Time for Pumpkin lattes, pumpkin pie and time to reflect on the harvest. Happy Fall ya'll!

64 Years of Loyalty

“For better or for worse. For richer or poorer; in sickness and in health.”

Webster defines “commitment”, well, I don’t like Webster’s definition, but when I saw the synonyms, I saw “faithfulness” and here is what Webster says there: full of FAITH or steadfast in affection or allegiance : LOYAL. And these words describe two of my favorite people, who today, April 15, are celebrating their 64th wedding anniversary.

Obviously I wasn’t there in 1947 when Martin and Margaret said their wedding vows in a humble ceremony. But one thing is definite—they are the epitome of faithfulness as they have been there for one another through sickness and health; for better and for worse, and today, April 15 they are still there for each other as they celebrate their wedding anniversary.



I love to hear my grandparents, Martin and Margaret Raymer talk about their courtship and the early days of their relationship. When they could go to “the show” for a nickel or a dime and when they would go to dances on Saturday nights. Grandpa worked for area farmers, and he worked hard until he could make it on his own. And when he and Grandma were first married they took a road trip to the West Coast in his Studebaker, which was one of the first of its kind in the county. Grandma, being the record keeper in the family, kept track of their expenses in a notebook, just like she keeps track of family Rummy scores today.

I can just envision these two love birds driving from the Nebraska Panhandle to the Washington Coast, holding hands , sharing a soda and telling stories. See, when I visit then about twice a year, they still occasionally squeeze each other’s hands and they still like to tell stories. “Remember when….” And another tale of days gone by begins.

But their journey hasn’t always been filled with joy and laughter…it has had its share of hardships that has made them stronger, and I’m sure there are some I will never know about. But sickness, that is one I do know about, because as a very early grade schooler, I remember going to Denver, when Grandma was in the hospital with a brain tumor, and cancer wasn’t very well understood back in the early 80s. But, Grandma, she’s a strong one, and she survived! And she survived multiple tumors and multiple surgeries with Grandpa and the rest of her family by her side. And she hasn’t slowed down since. She’s got a better social life than I ever will, and has always given back to her community, whether it’s serving lunches for funerals or organizing and managing the month long Church rummage sale. And later, that nasty cancer got to Grandpa – I guess years of farming and sun exposure got the better of him. And now, Grandma is right by his side, taking care of him.

And they worked together. As a child I loved going to my grandparents in the summer. Some of my favorite meals were served on the tailgate of a pickup when we would take dinner or supper to the guys in the field—and Grandma didn’t just through together a sandwich every time. Often, we would have fried chicken and lots of it! Portion control is not in Grandma’s vocabulary! And at calving time, if there was a cow that wouldn’t take her calf, Grandma would take care of the bottle calf or calves.

But now they are older, and they don’t “go” like they used to. But they still have each other, and they still are a shining example for their family. A few years ago, Grandpa jokingly said, “I was thinking about leaving, but there isn’t anyone in the neighborhood that cooks as good as Grandma.” And you know what, he’s right! And there’s no one in the neighborhood that can set an example of what true love is like the two of them!



Tonight, I called them to wish them a happy anniversary. Grandma said they “were celebrating.” They were going to have leftover meatloaf and my aunt and uncle were coming down to look at some old slides…a walk down memory lane. And Grandma had bought some cream puffs for desert. I assured her I had the same cream puffs in my freezer (because they are soooo good and NOT fat free!) and I would have some tonight too!

So, here’s to true love, commitment that lasts a lifetime, and to better and worse and sickness and health! Here’s to my Grandpa & Grandma! Thank you for showing your kids, 6 grandkids and even the next generation what true love really is. Thanks for being great farmers and cooks and family. And thanks for showing us what love really is.

National Adoption Month

“Adoption is not about finding children for families, it's about finding families for children” --Joyce Maguire Pavao

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. I never really realized this or new there was a month to celebrate one of the greatest things that ever happened to me, but I'm so glad I discovered it. And, I would first like to say THANK YOU to 4 individuals. I'd like to thank my parents, John and Connie Stannard for taking that leap of faith, driving to Omaha and picking me up and making a make-shift bed for me in that dresser drawer for those first couple nights of my new life with you. And I'd like to thank two responsible teenagers who made what was probably the biggest decision of their lives--they gave me a better life and didn't terminate my life by taking "the easy way out" as many did back in the early 70s.

Yes, I was adopted at just a few weeks old, and I never thought my life was any different. My mom and I fought like a lot of moms and daughters fight, and people say I look like my dad--maybe that was when we were younger and he had hair. My parents were always open about where I came from and I even corresponded with the Children's Home during different milestones in my life--graduation and special achievements. They always wrote me back. And then, as I got older I did seek information about my birth parents--purely from a medical standpoint--so I might know something about my medical history. However, I never had the desire to know my biological parents. They did the responsible thing, and although I sometimes wonder how my life would be different--Would I be a city kid vs. a country bumpkin--I never regret one day of my life.

My first meeting with my awesome parents!

It seems the older I get the more adopted folks I know, and more people my age have also adopted children, both in the U.S., and internationally. My adoption was closed, but I know several who have gone through open adoption where the children are still in touch with the birth mother. Both are great situations, as long as they work for all involved.

People face adoption from both sides for many reasons; I was showing a co-worker my baby book today since I brought it in to scan some of these great photos of me--look I loved wearing red, even at 8 months old--and he couldn't believe that there was a write-up about my adoption in the local newspaper. I explained to him that adoption wasn't taboo in my family. And, just like my cousins, I deserved a "birth announcement" too.

Even today, I hear people say, "well we have tried to have a baby, but my husband is against adoption." Or "I could never adopt, it just wouldn't feel like my baby." These words sting, and I explain to the people who say them if they really want a family, that adoption is a fabulous option. And, there are so many babies and children out there that deserve a loving family.

So, as I continue to count my blessings this month of Thanksgiving and recognize National Adoption Awareness Month, I would like to say thanks to those who take time to help others children their families. And I'd like to thank the families whose lives have been completed with their children. Due to respect of privacy, I won't mention names; just know you all are special people, whether in Nebraska, Illinois, Maryland, Indiana, Kansas, Wisconsin, New Mexico or wherever you might be. And know that you have made a difference.

Community: it's more than just a place

I've been thinking about what makes up a community a lot lately; and as you might guess with my lack of blogging I've had lots of windshield and airport time to think. It's funny, but I always thought of a community as a place--you know that location where one grew up, went to school or church. But in the last month or so, I've realized a community just isn't a place. It's your peeps. It's a group of people that you share common interests and beliefs with. Yes, that group might all be from the same locale, but they don't necessarily have to be.

As the daughter of gypsy parents (really, Trey, you believed that?) I am sometimes at loss to describe by traditional "community". When asked where I'm from, I often reply that I grew up in Western Nebraska and Western Kansas. But, that is pretty broad. I mean, I lived in about a dozen houses by the time I was 16 and had numerous addresses--Hemingford, Mullen, Hay Springs, Alliance, Chadron. And that was before we moved to Heaven, I mean St. Francis, KS. So, this is the root of my search for my communities. So, let's take a look at some of the communities I claim today.

Obviously, I have my Angus community. I couldn't ask for a better bunch of people to be associated with. I love the Angus breeders, members, exhibitors, fitters. The whole bunch is amazing. I was on vacation a few weeks ago to an Angus wedding, and while traveling, visited two other Angus families, both of which I adore. I know I can go practically anywhere in the US, and have Angus peeps to visit or take care of me in a pinch.

Then, I think back to life before Angus, which is sometimes challenging--I have my college peeps. The guys and gals I went to all three colleges with. We saw each other through some of the best and some of the worst times. And though we don't see each other as often as I'd like, we are all still just a phone call away.

Then, there are the ag communicator peeps. This group is about the most exciting/motivating group ever, and I got to spend some time with them last weekend in KC, thus the renewed blog interest. They are passionate about being a voice for agriculture, and I know I need to be better at this too. Thanks for the inspiration!

Finally, there is my faith community. Although, I attend church on a regular basis--ok, when I'm in town, which is not a regular basis--I rely on friends and family to help me build my relationship with the LORD. This might be with conversations, scripture on Facebook or my online Bible study gals, which definitely aren't in the same location.

So, there's some thoughts to ponder for the evening. Where is your community? Is it where your feet and roots are planted or are your communities where your people are. I say they are our friends and loved ones and it does take more than one community to raise this adult!

We are family

It always makes me smile that my first words as a child were not "mama" or "daddy" but instead "bye-bye" and I don't mean this any disrespect to my parents whom I love so dearly. Instead, it should have been a warning to them at a VERY early age, that I was going to be the traveling type. That being said, I am fortunate to have "family" in what seems like every corner of the United States. No, we're not related by blood or marriage, but we're tied together by life experiences and sometimes that makes us closer than blood could on any given day.

Every time one of these "relatives" achieves a milestone I get so excited for them, and when they claim defeat, a little piece of my heart breaks for them too. Many of my extended family are those I attended college with and that I've met through my 11 plus years at the American Angus Association.

Take my buddy, Brandon who I judged with at Colby. We became "blood brother and sister" one day in the parking lot of the dorms in the early 90s using his dirty pocket knife--no one said we were real smart but we did have fun! I'll never forget the sound of his voice on the other end of the line when he called me last November when I was in Louisville to tell me his dad had suffocated in a grain bin. I felt so helpless knowing I had the biggest event of my work year ahead of me and I couldn't be physically in Western Kansas with him and his family. But, just last week, he called again, to say, "Stella, you're gonna be an aunt again!" And of course, he asked his same round of questions he always asks--Why wasn't I married; what was I waiting for; when was I coming Kansas to see him and the family? He's definitely the brother I never asked for, but one I could never live without either.

Of course, I have a slew of "nieces and nephews" and the title of "Aunt Shelia" or "Aunt Shera" as Livy says is one I will always cherish. These little people are so important to me, and though some are not so little anymore (Grace will be 16 this fall), I love watching them grow up! Luckily most are involved in livestock shows, so I get to watch them show at some point. I just wish I got to see them all more often.

Then, there is my Angus family. Since I served as an advisor for the NJAA board for nine years, I became close with many of the young men and women who wore the green jackets on the Junior Board. Now, many of them are getting married and starting the next generation of Angus enthusiasts, and I almost feel like a "grandma" but thankfully, some of them still refer to me as "Aunt" Shelia and NOT granny! It's so much fun to see these young people succeed in their families and their careers! I'll always remember where I was when Trever told me that Krista was "the one" and when he called to tell me that Claire was born. And, just last weekend I got to see all three of them. It is great fun to go to Jr. Board weddings--almost like a little reunion! And, I was even fortunate enough to serve as the wedding photographer for one past NJAA member and Miss American Angus and now very dear friend, Jamie.


So, see it really is experiences not blood that makes a family. I thank God for my family each day and ask Him to watch over them and provide them health and safety. But I really am blessed to have such a wonderful "extended" family. I know my parents are thankful too.